Becoming the other woman...

As the date on which I will officially become a stepmother looms on the horizon, I find myself interested in finding others out there who are doing what I am doing, marrying men who were either coupled up or married before and have a child or children that they are bringing with them into their new marriage. And through some clicking of links on many of the mommy blogs that I read with the fervor of a woman who is going to pop out a child tomorrow (even though that will have to wait until at least nine months after our wedding), I have found several that I am reading and enjoying and learning from.

This is a weird transition for me because I have been a pseudo-stepmom for 6+ years now. I have made it through all of the initial stuff of meeting the kids and meeting the ex and developing a relationship with the stepkids' extended family and learning how to share holidays and picnics and communion parties and birthdays and baseball games. However, I have done this from the relative safety of my apartment, and then my parents' house. I never lived with Bill, and I never lived with CC#1 and CC#2 on the weekends.

Now, I have lived here in our home for a little over a month now, and I still haven't spent a weekend with the other three members of my household. First, CC#1 and CC#2 were off to the beach with their mom and then to various sports camps. Then, this past weekend, they were here, but I was away, visiting my sister for the weekend (and buying lots of make up and shoes). It's like we are ships passing in the night, seeing evidence of each other all around and yet never actually seeing each other.

I am one of the lucky ones. When I read the blogs of other stepmoms, I hear all sorts of stories about how their stepkids' evil moms are running and ruining their lives. I have never had this problem with Bill's ex. In fact, she and I might even get along a little too well for the comfort of many people who can't let go of that idea of what kind of relationship a mom and a stepmom should share. It's a tangled web, but it works for us. We share the same circle of friends and often find ourselves side-by-side at picnics and parties, sharing wine and conversation. When one of us has a birthday party, the other is at it. When we attend sporting events for CC#1 and CC#2 , we sit next to each other and keep up a steady stream of chatter from the first pitch to the final basket. We have, on occasion, gone out together for a night of drinks and dancing, and we have even attended dinner parties at each others' homes. We have a respect for one another that I find myself being thankful for as I read about some of the less happy relationships out there between the old wives and the new wives.

Sure, there are things that we might not agree on. However, I try to pay attention to the rules she enforces in her home and enforce the same rules in mine. I try to think about what their mom would say about something if CC#1 or CC#2 asks me for something that I know their mom would not approve of. And when I arrive at a party or picnic and see her sitting across the room, I am happy to go up and greet someone who is not just my fiance's ex-girlfriend. She's a part of my life, and I am happy that we can make the most of it.

Go, team, go!

Before I met WJC, I was a moderate sports fan with an affinity for the New York Yankees and the Pittsburgh Steelers. He was a less moderate fan of the Yankees and a crazy and whacked out fan of the Cleveland Browns...the Steelers' biggest rivals. Yeah, it was a great start to our relationship.

My only real experience playing sports was some unfortunate years on my high school field hockey team. I was not good, but I had heart. I could cheer with the best of them. I was a mean scorekeeper. And as sweeper, I even made some good saves once in a while. However, I couldn't get it all together and be a real key to the success of the team. Also, the team didn't meet with much success because we were pretty bad.

Suddenly, I had this man in my life who (A) had season tickets to the Yankees and (B) had two sons who were way into sports. Now, they were still young at the time (CC#1 was 7 and had just finished first grade, and CC#2 was 6 and had just finished kindergarten), so these were modified versions of what they play now. However, I gamely (tee-hee) planned my weekend schedule around baseball games and basketball games and soccer games (as well as CCD and church, but that's another story). And it was a good fit.

Now, they are older, and they are started to have "favorite" sports. No one plays soccer anymore. They both love basketball. However, CC#1 prefers to play football, while CC#2 is on his way to becoming a baseball star. They don't just play in the regular season anymore either. For baseball, we have all-star tournament baseball, and for basketball, we have some rec teams.
Since starting school, my nights and weekends are not my own, so I can't make it to all the games. Also, being one of two girls in my family, I don't always know all the rules. However, I love to watch them play their games, and I love to sit with the other parents and cheer for our team. And I wonder what my life would be like if I didn't have these two boys to cheer for. I know it would be missing something without them.

Putting on my big girl panties and taking my place in the real world...

Welcome to my new blog! Because I don't neglect my other blog enough at all! There is nothing better for a mediocre blogger with a questionable commitment to her craft than a new blog. Therefore, here we are!

I am a reader of mommy blogs. And I have always known (well, since I became a blogger) that I would one day become a mommy blogger. No, this isn't my way of announceing that there's another family member on the way...we have a wedding to get through first!

My fiance is bringing with him to our marriage two sons, thereby making me a stepmother. I never thought, back when I was 16 and making my way through the hell that was high school, that someone, somewhere was having children that would someday belong, in some way, to me. I was too worried about surviving the field hockey season and keeping my grades up.

However, you never know what fate has in store for you. And when I met a man a little over six years ago who had two sons (who were six and seven at the time), I had a funny feeling that this was It. He was The One. Although it was a long road to get to this wedding planning thing that we are doing now, it turns out I was right. And now I am living with the man I will spend my life with on the side of a mountain in the Poconos, and I am enjoying my ready-made family on the weekends.

Stay tuned for tales from our new life together...I promise to share both the good and the not-so-much!